A Year without you...

With your sweet voice you call me at night, you ask me to sit so we can chat.. We talk about your day and mine, discussing theories, the day’s events, we talk about this and that...

Sometimes we argue, because of your pills residue... “no more” you say, “no more, it is bitter”, “but you have to Dad, it will make you better”... but I taste the water and it is not sweet, and my heart goes sad and bitter. You kept these chocolates every where, loved your delights, klaicha and sweet pies...
you said “in my young days, I lived on Mars, when broke my leg, and started seriously to study maths”. I came home without you, that day,  and your sweets were still everywhere...

In all our photos together, your arms around me, protecting me forever. Then years pass by, my arms around you “give me a hug Dad, so we can walk”...
my last hug, they asked me to let go, they pulled you away, and you let go... I saw you go...

I miss you Dad, and for a while I couldn’t walk, needed your arms to hold me back. I miss you Dad and cry you every night, but I live the day, your daughter I am in every way...

I love you so much, it has been a year, but as if I saw you go today...

A Wish...

"Remember, a Dream is only a Wish desired by the Heart..."

Oh, how she believed in that...
Her childhood was filled with dreams that during the day she closed her eyes so hard, when wishing for them... She vividly understood dreams can come true if worked for them, but first we need to wish for them to be dreams... 

She visited old cities in her dreams, became part of the aether of her universe and flew between the magical trees of Bohemia, and drank from the clear waters of heaven.  She touched the colours of the light, kissed by the sun and flew with the wind, chatted with her peculiar friends... magical animals, nymphs, pans, Gods, and Godesses...

She then grew, her dreams became achievable, realistic... The magical wishes faded, and she thought disappeared... until last night...

He was in her dream, magically the original dream changed to have him in it...  oh her heart must have been wishing so the magic returned... she held him so tight, not wanting to let go.  She ignored her surrounds and kept her eyes on him, holding his hands, and sitting as close... It was her decades ago, before he leaves and she leaves...  

She woke up with the warmth of his nearness, and remembered the magical words... A dream is only a wish the heart desired...  the magic returned... she smiled and shut her eyes so hard... wishing for her next dream...

The Ache of the Heart...

"The bravest thing I did was to continue living when I wanted to die..." she heard her say...

To her, it was a miracle, as she had died and came back to the living. She saw her blinded glassy eyes with nothing behind but emptiness. She saw her corpse of a body carried by oh but the ghost of her man.

She saw them leave the living...  It is a miracle they came back, scarred and hollowed... but they came back. Their wound still bleeds, but they came back...

With a deafening silence, they lit the candles... here and there, as if to burn the wound...

Silently she gave her a helping hand, and whispered in her ear... "oh Huda, the Ache of the Heart is but a lonely place... a serene, and safe place, albeit a lonely one... thank you for coming back..."

With a questioning look, of once empty eyes, she turned to worryingly ask "how do you know?!! You shouldn't know..."

With a smile but sad "I know, as I died then and there, and not sure I've ever come back".  

 

The Chilcot Report

The Chilcot Report...

Mr. Blair

Your inadequacy of thought

Left a whole country

Marred and distraught

Your responsibility and regret

Mean nothing

To my sister who is 

enslaved

Sold and raped

To her father

Who saw his wife being killed

And his son they behead

Before he too 

Had lost his head

You wanted to invade

To topple him down

As he was a threat
But he was your man

You trained and raised
 

You brought him in

Oh, Didn't you know?

So when did it all begin??

Your actions sir

Destroyed the grave 

of my brother

And made me mourn 

Some million other

Please look at the dead
and into the eyes
of their bereaved
Tell them that
you've truly believed
 Oil has nothing to do
with your dirty deed

Your decision was made

Without a debate

So tell me sir,

Which University 

let you graduate?!!

Sinaa

The Call...

The sun's rising rays
glittered and shined,
on your grave...

And the letters of your name
they graced...

As the haunting call of the mourning Horn sounded...

The wind fluttered with the warmth of my tear

Because of you
I am living here...

And my surround stood still,

Stopped in time
As it does every year...

Somehow I can see your face

Bloodied and sad
As you said your grace

You knew that death is with you in a race

Good byes, your home,
your heart awarded

As that calling Horn sounded

Good bye, the wind echoed back

my heart stopped and felt black

On the red petals of the poppy that flowered

Letters of love,

A prayer in a whisper,
to you I send

As the time has stopped

When the haunting Horn sounded


Salute to all the lives lost, to all the tears shed, to all the broken hearts. Salute to all grieving mothers, broken fathers, weakened siblings, and orphaned children...
World peace became a far fetched wish, let's hope one day it will be true...
...

Salute...

She was asked to forget... She decided to turn the page...

They asked her to forget him... 
They asked her to open her heart and never close it... 
They asked her to oblige...

She tried... and exposed her heart, or thought she did... But everyone - including her- can see it was locked...

She thought if she just write why he was still there in her heart, mind and soul... She can then turn that page of her life and start anew...
So she wrote...

He packed my beloved books with me, and kept but one aside... It was the only one that I wrote on... With a phrase underlined and next to it two small words, written with a pencil..."How Lovely..." they said... 
He hid the velvety pencil I wrote with in his little pocket, playfully... and yet he kept it... He said when i asked, you were holding it...
He carried my bag to the final destination, he knew it was good bye, and yet he asked me not to leave... 
He held me tight when i fell from the marble steps, and asked me to keep dreaming, but always when he's around...
He called me his weakening point, but that i made him so strong...
He loved me with his eyes, smile, and voice...
He sang a song he never liked, only because I loved...
He held me so tight when it was good bye, never wanted to let go, he cried without tears, and screamed quietly, then he said..."Go..."
But I couldn't, he was still holding me tight...
He was there at my deepest sadness, holding my hands and asking me to cry... He was there at my happiness, holding his arm...  Devouring my giggles...

He was the last face I saw before i leave... 

So, she thought that page was finished, and she was to do some editing and then turn to the next page...
Few days later, her other velvety pencil was still in that page, the first page of a new journal... 
The journal was still open, the pencil has never left...
And...
That page was never turned...
 

Which is the dream...?!!!

He is tall and handsome. Naughty eyes that filled his face, and laughter that filled the room
He joked with her, she wittily responded
And they laughed...
His laughter has filled the place

He finished his phone-call and went into her room, he just wasn't sure... How can he be so far away?
How can he leave his elderly pal, his achy mum, and her?

He looked at his small suitcase
"It's just a try..." He said
He gave his pal a long hug
He gave his mum a kiss on the cheek
Looked at her noting "let's go"
With sadness filling his eyes

From the distance, she yelled 
" Tameem, don't go..."
" we silently want you to stay"
" we want you to be, like everyday"
"Tameem, you want to stay, so stay"

So he returned...
He looked at his pal "how can I leave you with them two?"
He looked at his mum "who's going to plant your trees?"
He looked at her "I'm here..."

And yet suddenly he disappeared
How did he fit in that little box?
Where are his bags, toys, and tapes?
Where are his jokes, laughter, and loves?
Where are his plans, his travel maps, and French books?
Where is he??

And yet she heard him say "I'm here"

Is it a dream...? She heard him laugh
Is it a dream...? She saw him wave good bye
Is it a dream...? That he returned and playfully hiding, yet yelling "I'm here..." ??!!